Lockdown Diaries 2020/21

So yes, we’re now having our groceries delivered by Asda. And that’s fairly uncommon around these parts, I can tell you. We live in a Waitrose Belt - not being snobbish, just stating a fact.   When those marketing people try to work out your demographic they usually ask you which newspaper you read. But in my opinion, asking about your favourite supermarket would be just as good a yardstick.   I enjoy going to our local Waitrose. It’s built above the station car park and has huge windows, loads of light and panoramic views. I spend many a pleasant hour gliding my trolley through the wide aisles, gazing up at the overpriced delicacies on the shelves. No-one rushes me and the staff are lovely and helpful. In fact the only downside of shopping at Waitrose is the other customers, who are singularly joyless. They wheel their trolleys around grimly, using those irritating clicky things to check the price of everything. They’re well-groomed but miserable and if you inadvertently smil...

I n a previous post I mentioned how we used to feel like the angry offspring of bickering parents in the run-up to Brexit. Now, however, we’ve become the good little children of a proud Mum and Dad. “Well done!” they say in their daily briefing. “You’ve done a great job! You’ve stayed at home, protected the NHS and saved lives. Keep it up!” As a child I was a bit of a goody-goody so I respond quite well to this sort of feedback. And Brian and I have actually kept pretty much to the rules. Though there was that one road trip to Dunstable to pick up some pre-ordered toilet rolls from Brian’s office, with me riding shotgun….. a big day out it wasn’t. But even the best-behaved child can become restive sometimes. And an increasing number of us are beginning to say: “Enough already! I’m sick of being inside. Why can’t I go out and play? It’s not FAIR!” The Americans are going one step further and are taking to the streets, honking their horns and waving placards in protest a...

This weekend my hairdresser asked if I could pay her in toilet rolls. And she was only half-joking. This is what we’ve come to. The ground has shifted beneath our feet and we no longer take anything for granted as the basic necessities of life begin to disappear rapidly from our shops.  The reason why bog rolls have become such a rarity is hard to fathom. Why can’t we improvise? People used to use newspaper in the olden days, didn’t they, and leaves before that. Neither of these items are technically flushable, but we have bins and recycling facilities don’t we? Of course, I’m talking from the lofty position as (whisper it) the wife of someone who works for a tissue manufacturer. And my hairdresser is aware of that fact, which is why she made her extraordinary suggestion. She explained that while she and her husband had sufficient loo paper for the time being, her elderly mother had been unable to locate any and neither had her son and his fiancee. After several ...